I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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