Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
