My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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