Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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