Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
