Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I want to fling myself into the sun
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize