walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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