Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
