im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
