You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
