if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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