i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
