I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
