please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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