using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
false alarm. still invincible.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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