Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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