I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize