I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
