I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
