sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
