That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She even gives head with a lisp.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
