I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I smell stomach acid.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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