My hand turned me down
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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