tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
