I am puke
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
