I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
