Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
