I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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