He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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