hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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