drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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