But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
