i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
