my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
