no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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