Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
