so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
