so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
