Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
