the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
