I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Operation Purity has been aborted
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
