my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
