I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
