Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize