My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
