areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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