On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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