no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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