AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
