My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
