The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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