Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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