i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
