My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
