you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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