I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
