i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
