omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
