i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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