please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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