Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
