I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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