I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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