Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize