the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
