guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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