A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
