we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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