she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
