He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
