When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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