ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
BRING THE BAGELS
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
